Going with Your Gut - Finding My Midwife

Having a baby is, possibly foremost among other things, an incredible learning experience that begins early in pregnancy. New information comes from all directions: advice from friends and relatives, recommendations from health care providers, observations of people around us, our readings and research, and — most importantly - our own experiences.

I am a scientist and teacher, and it is in my nature to want to fully understand the world around me. For better or worse, I tend to research things exhaustively. I love to comparison shop and make lists while preferring not to have to make on-the-spot decisions, especially about important things. Spontaneity is not one of my strengths. So, it hasn't stopped amazing me how much I've been trusting myself and going with my gut when it comes to parenting, starting well before Zoey was born. Sometimes something just feels right (or wrong), and that feeling is hard to ignore.

I saw "The Business of Being Born" early in my pregnancy and, after some more research, was seriously considering having a water birth. At the time, my OB was, by default, my gynecologist, an M.D. physician and gynecological surgeon. When I expressed my interest in natural childbirth and my desire not to be unnecessarily "medicalized", she essentially dismissed me and even went on to share her own story about thinking she'd have a natural birth and then deciding "no way" and begging for drugs.

I left that first OB appointment feeling uneasy. I was even more so after my second appointment, which the physician missed due to being at a birth (understandable) and during which the nurse blew off my request to have the physician call me to discuss some questions I had (not understandable).

After searching around, I figured out that St. Elizabeth's in Lincoln was amenable to natural birth options, so I called the delivery nurses there to ask which physicians delivered there. (My OB made it clear that she only worked with the other hospital in town.) All signs pointed to Lincoln OB/Gyn. I called, not even really knowing what I was asking, and explained that I was looking to switch physicians and was interested in natural childbirth options. The receptionist said that I should probably speak with a midwife.

A MIDWIFE?!?!?

I'd never even considered this, since I'd always associated midwives with get-some-towels-and-boil-some-water births in the backyard.

Carol called me at about 7:00 that evening, clearly on her own time. She spent about 45 minutes on the phone with me, not only answering my questions but asking some of her own. She wanted to get to know me and my concerns and ended up having all the right answers to my questions. Her philosophy, which I share, is that pregnancy and birth are normal processes and not conditions that need treatment for a healthy woman and baby. On top of this, she and the other midwives in her practice are Certified Nurse Midwives and have been doing natural births, including water births, for many years. At the same time, the three midwives are in a practice with a handful of physicians, so I felt comfortable that if I were to have complications in pregnancy or childbirth, there'd be no elbow-bumping among colleagues. I didn't hesitate to switch from my original OB to Carol.

It was clear that at each of my subsequent OB appointments, attention was paid not only to my and my baby's health, but also to making sure I was educated about what was going on and that the midwife and I were on the same page. Carol took an interest in my particulars, including some of my questions that must've seemed odd, coming from my musings and research as a biologist. When Carol told me that she was going to be out-of-town at a conference for several days surrounding my due date, she made sure I scheduled some of my OB appointments with the other midwives so that I'd get to know them. And she expressed a sincere disappointment in the likelihood of missing my baby's birth. It was very important to me to feel a genuine concern from someone so integral in such an important event in my and my baby's life.

I made the right choice.